A court is a pump
And a pump is a flat
A flip-flop's a thong
Depending on where you live

It's a heel not a heal
And a shoe not a show
Diamante is not diamonte
And sandals are never sandles...

A fake is a replica
A copy an 'homage'
One person's sexy
Is another's hooker heel

T-straps are T-bars
Or dancing shoes if you like
Mary Janes are Dolly shoes
And d'Orsays...don't get me started

Tall boots are high boots
Or knee length in the UK
Nobody really knows the difference
between a bootie and a shboot

And let's be honest...who cares?
They're all ugly anyway.