If the Shoe Fits: The old woman who lived in her shoes
Amber McNaught writes...
One of my favourite Sex and the City quotes comes from Carrie, who has just found herself in financial dire straights. "I spent $40,000 on shoes and I have nowhere to live?" she says, horrified. "I will literally be the old woman who lived in her shoes!"
I can relate. I may not have spent quite $40,000 on shoes (Not yet, anyway), but I do have enough of them that if I ever find myself homeless, I reckon I'll be able to fashion myself a pretty sizeable cardboard-box-home from all of the shoe boxes I've collected over the years. The proof of this came this weekend, when we decided to do a bit a
Spring Winter clean out. "You know I could probably put up some more shoe shelves for you in this wardrobe," said my husband, gesturing to a newly-empty space. I immediately agreed - and then I realised that doing this will mean that I now have shoes in every single storage space in our home. And some more at my parents'. Oops.
Let's see. In our bedroom, my shoes take up the entire bottom half of one wardrobe, on shelves which have been specially made for them. Actually, they take up the very top of that wardrobe, too, stacked up in either the boxes they came in, or clear plastic shoe boxes I bought for them. On the floor of the wardrobe? Yes, that would be my shoes. Or my boots, rather. And, OK, some pairs of shoes, too, in boxes. Well, they have to go somewhere, don't they?
There are more shoes in the wardrobe in the spare bedroom. These pairs hang in a special shoe storage device which holds around ten pairs. Underneath that, there's a large wicker basket that was bought to store sundry household items in, but which now holds... shoes. These are the ones I always forget I own: it's hard to get into it, because arranged along the lid of the basket is a whole bunch of... can you guess? Yes, it's shoes. Again.
Downstairs, there's an Ikea shoe storage unit in the porch. Actually, I'm quite proud of my efforts here, because although it holds some of my shoes, I also managed to find some space for a few pairs belonging to my husband, too. Don't worry - they'll be going as soon as buy some more for myself.
Finally, comes the Cupboard of Shame. It's actually the cupboard we use to keep towels, bed linen and the like in. You probably have one in your house, too. Ah, but does yours have pairs of boots stored in the bottom of it, in a space that wasn't actually designed to store anything, but which has been reluctantly pressed into service because you ran out of other options? Mine does.
I'm not even going to think about the shoes I have at my parents' house.
Amber McNaught is the editor of Shoewawa. She may not have a lot of money, but she's sure got a lot of shoes...