Can you believe these crazy day-glo sandals? You'd better, because they're right here in front of your eyes, and they're not going to vanish when you blink. The statement-making shoes by John Fluevog are typical of the brands bold, chunky style but with an extra ounce of cute supplied by a pair of bows that Hello Kitty would be proud of.
If you like the style but won't do pink, they're available in a very emo-friendly black and grey, too.
$159 at Fluevog
Yuck.
I wouldn't wish these shoes on my worst enemy.
These 'cuffed' sandals are from ASOS and are cheap wag central. Firstly, why would you 'cuff' a sandal? The whole point of sandals is that they're for summer, ie hot weather. So why would you add what is technically a legwarmer, why?
Secondly, they are hot pink Zebra print. I don't think I need to explain whats wrong with that.
Thirdly, they are hairy. Hairy shoes.
Unfortunately, they're for sale on ASOS for £60. Yes I know.
Related: Ugly Shoe of the Week: Rick Owens Hidden Sandals | Ugly Shoe of the Week: Beverly Feldman 'Greentini' loafers
Let me give you some advice, shoe friends. Some shoes are useful in that they also double as a deadly weapon. Take these for instance. Say you were out walking home after a night out and some (very stupid) person tried to attack you. One swift stab of that spike heel and they'd be the ones in trouble.
Now I can add 'Means of self defense' to my list of 'Reasons To Justify Buying Yet More Shoes'.
Apart from their usefullness, they're also really pretty! They're snake effect leather, and the platform, straps and gold detailing give them a tough girl glamour. If you want to buy them (for your own protection of course, nothing about self indulgence) they're £85 from ASOS.
Related: The glass slipper gets an update by Alexander Mcqueen | French Connection Juana T-bar sandals
Look. At. These. Wow.
These Alexander McQueen sandals are probably the closest you could ever get to Cinderella's glass slippers. They are amazing. The champagne coloured shoes have crystal encrusted straps and that amazing, show stopping 13cm crystal heel.
I'm struggling to think of somewhere appropriately fancy to wear them, and I've come up with...your wedding. If you want to add these to your collection, to wear or just to put on a display table in the hallway, whichever, they're currently on sale for £779, down from £1558.
Related: Diego Dolcini Swarovski crystal flat sandals | Finally - Balmain's crystal embellished studded sandals in at Net-a-Porter... but sold out | Not-So-Casual Friday: Gina's crystal heeled court shoes
It's not often you come across shoes by French Connection which will get you change from your £20 note, and it's even more rare to to find ones which are actually rather nice. So when I found exactly that today, I absolutely *had* to tell you about it.
These Juana T-bar sandals are trendy and classic at the same time - the T-bar shape and stiletto heel bringing the classic, and the gold studs and patent leather bringing the trendy. They're a steal at just £19 - no, this isn't a joke - at Kurt Geiger.
Related: French Connection bow detail thong sandals | French Connection pink 'Jazzy' platform sandals
A country of girls squealed with happiness when we heard the news that Topshop had copied the Louis Vuitton 'Spicy' sandals, meaning that you could get your hands on a very similar pair of the £2,040 shoes for a mere £120.
And then, as you would expect, they promptly sold out. But, because Sir Phil saw a money spinner we loved them so much, Topshop made them into flat sandals, and then remodeled them into strappy heels.
Well, now the original 'Tribal Voodoo' sandals have been re-issued, and in two new colourways! I particularly love this black and gold pair, which still retain the jungle style of the shoe, but gives it a glamourous elegance. They also come in bright orange and are £120. Get them quick before they're sold out again!
Related: Topshop's Louis Vuitton-inspired heels hit shops | Not-so-casual Friday: Topshop channel Louis Vuitton AGAIN | Topshops still channeling Louis Vuitton
All this sunshine we've been having this week has been making me long for the weekend like never before - and for a yummy cocktail to be planted firmly in my hand as I take in the views on one of London's lovely rooftop bars.
What I'll need on my feet however, is a pair of shoes that are equally glam, and will lift my spirit as equally as the glorious sunshine has. I believe these geometric gem T-bar sandals by DSquared will fit that bill extremely well. And then I can focus all my attention on deciding which cocktail I'd like to try first... Ahh decisions, decisions! They are on sale now for $831 at Zappos Couture.
Related: Not-so-casual Friday: Topshop channel Louis Vuitton AGAIN | Not so casual Friday: Giuseppe Zanotti chain fringe ankle strap heels
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