Feathers on shoes are not a design featutre I've ever really warmed to, I have to admit. Feathers on clothing, yes, in small doses. Feathers on hats, hell yes. But the one place feathers should never be seen is on the feet. Even birds don't have feathers on their feet, and to wear them on a human foot is an abomination.
No shoe has ever illustrated that point to me quite as luridly as this odd creation from ASOS Black, however. The fluffy embellishments on these courts look far more like manky chicken feathers than stylish plumes, and it all reminds me of a bad easter bonnet. Do Not Want!
£60 at ASOS
Office have named this ankle boot 'Kanned Heat', but to me they scream 'pimp boots'
Open up the wardrobe of 60s dork-spy Austin Powers and you'll probably find this style taking pride of place.
I'm sure an edgy celeb will pair them with skinny jeans and a vest top and pull them off.
If you fancy being a bit daring and trying them out, you can buy them for
£87 from Office.
I sometimes wonder if brands like Killdoll should be exempted from the ugly shoe feature, since their very raison d'etre is to push the boundaries of what we'd normally consider to be acceptable footwear. But then I see styles like this, and my leniency towards them goes right out of the window!
Leaving aside the vom-inducing colour palate and the clashing straps and wedge pattern, I have to ask what on earth is going on with that sole. The orange line only serves to emphasize the bizarre wiggle on the bottom, which makes the whole thing look like it was made from particularly wonky clay. Do Not Want!
£25 from Office (who, amazingly enough, are down to their 'last remaining pairs'!)
There's so much wrong with this shoe I'm afraid I don't quite know where to start. So let's take approach with caution, take a deep breath and examine this monstrosity bit by bit.
So, we've got a precariously jutting platform on an eye-watering, stripper-style heel, a clashing leopard-print strap and the real pièce de resistance: a pattern that looks from a distance a bit like guts, but which turns out to be jellybeans, if you can bear to get that close. The shoes apparently have a 'satin back', too, but it appears to have been swamped by all the other elements screaming for attention.
£15 (half price) at Boohoo
Regretsy, for those of you aren't addicted, is a site dedicated to finding the funny, ugly and disgusting highlights of crafty marketplace Etsy.
Not for the faint hearted, I've seen everything on here from a childbirth doll to poncho especially created for a chick (of the feathered variety).
These personalised converse shoes on the right are pretty grotesque though. They're from AyinX's store, who's clearly a Twilight fan. It even promises 'freebies', which I'd hope to be a bag to go over your head and hide the shame..
You can buy these from the Etsy shop for $125.
As the year draws to a close, it's time we look back on the last 12 months and take stock of the important things.
Like really really ugly shoes.
2009 has gifted us with so many visually offensive shoes. Abi shared these delights on the right with us back in August. The Comme Des Garcons "toe" shoes are not only vom-worthy, but the creator's will charge you £481.82 for the 'pleasure' of wearing them.
Here are four more weird and (not so) wonderful shoes from 2009.
Continue reading >>
Forgive me for presenting you with an ugger like this so early on in the week, when you've probably barely eased yourself out of slippers and into your flatties just yet. But the alternative wouls be letting a design error like this one pass by without comment, and we couldn't possibly allow that!
Having twigged that the desert boot is a good style to play with at the moment, Marc Jacobs has 'tweaked' the look by adding a heel that owes more to a piano stool than anything you'd normally wear on your feet. The heel in itself is rather interesting - but it doesn't sit right on the chunky platform, which would look equally fab with a similarly chunky heel. Or have I got it all wrong, and am missing the genius of these strangely discordant shoes?
£515 at Colette.
Related: Clarks celebrates 60 years of the desert boot | Gap designer edition heeled desert boots
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