This week's ugly shoes are actually ugly boots: Miu Miu's python cut out boots, to be precise. Yes, I known the season for wearing boots is almost over, but don't worry - these have holes all over them, so your legs will stay cool. They also have the suggestion of a snake face on the toe, so if anyone you know has a phobia about our slithery friends, it's probably going to be a good idea to steer clear while you're wearing these, or you'll end up giving them nightmares.
Some of you will, of course, like these boots. Will you like them enough to pay £2,155 for them though, I wonder?
More Ugly Shoes
I'm not too sure what's going on with these ankle booties. They're bright orange. They're haircalf. In other words, they're furry AND orange. They're kind of wrong, really, and I feel just a wee bit ill looking at them.
I guess if retro mod's your thing, and you have the Mary Quant shift dress sitting in your wardrobe just waiting to be revived, then these booties could be pretty inspiring. Otherwise... probably not.
They're $585 by Eileen Shields for Zero + Maria Cornejo at shopbop.com.
Related: Manolo Blahnik Haircalf Heels | Faith's Sarah booties fail to excite
Crikey! That's a big 'un! These are about the chunkiest, clunkiest platforms I've ever seen - and I can't say I like them! I know that there'll be some of you out there who could rock these, but for the rest of us, their only use is likely to be as an ankle weight to help you tone while you walk. Also available in stripes, skulls or with a bow-embellishment (all equally awful), they're a cheap and ugly £39.99 from Schuh.
Related: Check out our Ugly Shoe archives here!
High-top gladiators are a style that, at best, will only suit a handful of people; specifically, those with legs of the long and very slender variety. To add insult to injury (to those those of us who don't possess the aforementioned assets) is that this particular style is likely to make your ankles look like you've strapped half a dead snake to them! The final horror is the price - $779 from Guiseppe Zanotti.
Related: Check out our ugly shoe collection here!
Now, I'm going to start by saying that I don't mind the ol' soft toy and still cherish the special ones I've had since childhood. But these teddy-inspired shoes? Blergh! Taking a relatively nice plain court and adding a bizarre bear face to the heel is something only Irregular Choice would do. If you'd like to figuratively burn £38, they're available from ASOS.
Related: Ugly is as ugly does - as these shoes prove!
This week our Ugly Shoe column is a double feature. We've already assailed your eyes with Givenchy's awful plastic sandals; and now their hideous boots! The chunkiest ankle boots I've seen in a while, the lace detail, elastic insert and peep-toe make this style scream "I'M LOUD! LOOK AT ME!" more vociferously than their neutral white colouring would suggest! Unsuited to jeans... and I'm not sure that they'd suit skirts or dresses either; my hat's off to anyone who can style these in an attractive way! They're an ugly $638.95 from Givenchy.
Related: Check out our Ugly Shoe archives here!
My eyes! They burn! There I was, trotting through life thinking that Crocs were one of the worst blights on shoekind, when along comes Givenchy with these horrors. Lets get one thing straight: the words 'jelly' and 'shoes' should never, NEVER belong in the same sentence, unless it's along the lines of "I wore my pretty shoes today and ate some delicious raspberry jelly on my lunch break". Proving that plastic and gladiator styles do not mix well, these bleached white horrors will no doubt turn up on the feet of those with more money than sense. If you fancy splurging $168.95 of your hard earned cash, make your way to Zappos now.
Related: Shoes are uglier on Thursdays!
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