Shoewawa: Ugly Shoes

Pedro Garcia's 'Paola' - shoe-boots gone wrong?

Described as 'chalk suede sling-back shoe boots', I must admit that I find these spring offerings from Pedro Garcia to be a little on the ugly side. Showcasing a shape that will make mincemeat of most ankles, it's the white suede that ensures these will get dirty as soon as you dare to think about a rainy day. Pair with the shapely legs of a supermodel and you might just get away with them - they're a frightening £185 from Net-A-Porter.

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Ugly Shoe of the Week

These shoes have a fatal case of the too-much-going-ons, I'm afraid; and Hale Bob: you have only yourself to blame. While these sandals could have looked quite elegant had they been toned down a notch, the addition of fussy clasps, complicated straps and a heavily detailed wedge make them more overwhelming than anything else! Perhaps a subtle kind of ugly (compared with the likes of these, anyway); at $99.99, they're anything but a bargain.

Related: Save the Ugly Shoes! Collect the whole set!

Posted by Erin Le Clerc on February 28, 2008 1:41 PM in Shoes in the USA| Ugly Shoes| wedges
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Forever 21 Plush Patent Platform

Don’t these heels look frighteningly high? They measure in at about 3.75” plus a 0.75” platform. That makes then 4.5” tall. And they’re not even fabulously beautiful like a pair of Louboutin’s or Manolo’s. They actually scare me quite a bit, reminiscent of the feeling I get when I see clear plastic hooker platforms. Which these Forever 21 Plush Patent Platform heels ($20.80) could act as with their high gloss patent leather look pumps with eyelet detail around the toe. It features two straps to help keep the foot in, but it really doesn’t help make them more appealing. What do you think?

Posted by Helen Lee on February 25, 2008 9:09 AM in Heels| Ugly Shoes
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Ugly Shoe of the Week

I come bearing sad news for you today. Indeed, I come to announce the death of a beloved childhood friend. Cookie Monster. He was a grand fellow. He thought of cookies as his best friends (haven't we all at one time?). He loved cookies so much, that he oft' lamented that it was fortunate that the moon was not a cookie, as he would probably eat it entirely. Yes, he may have taught poor grammar to generations of children; and no, he never gained nearly enough weight based on the volume of cookies he ate (damn that Muppet metabolism!) - but all the same, he DIDN'T DESERVE TO BE SKINNED by Ugg Australia!

I'll be wearing mourning clothes today. Will you join me?

[Thanks to The Fashion Police for the tip-off]

Posted by Erin Le Clerc on February 21, 2008 1:00 PM in Ugly Shoes
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Prada Flower-Heel Mary Jane

I though the Prada fall 2007/08 shoes were amazing. They were innovative and have influenced the shoe market somewhat. But the spring 2008 shoes are a different kettle of fish so to speak. They're definitely more art than fashion forward wear. Case in point, these Prada Flower-Heel Mary Janes which appeared on the runway. They will set you back a tidy $750, but they're made from purple and green velvet with green patent leather trim. Sure the bow detail is cute, but there is just something so retro and hippy-dippy about the crushed-look velvet. And the heel... well it just reminds me of something the step-sisters would wear while torturing Cinderella.

Though on the Neiman Marcus site, it does say that a customer can only order "no more than 3 units of this item every 30 days". So maybe I'm alone in my thoughts, though I don't mind some of Prada's other Spring 2008 shoes.

Posted by Helen Lee on February 14, 2008 11:17 AM in Designer Shoes| Mary Janes| Ugly Shoes
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Ugly Shoe of the Week

In the immortal words of Janice: Oh. My. God.

These boots look like they've been four-wheel-driving through the mud for a week! There is nothing that redeems this design. Nothing. The ugliness is overwhelming. I apologise in advance for all the therapy sessions you're going to need to get over this crime against shoemanity.

Posted by Erin Le Clerc on February 14, 2008 10:47 AM in Ugly Shoes
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Ugly Shoe of the Week

I've never quite understood espadrilles. I get that they add height and they're a very popular summer style, but it seems to me that so much can go wrong so easily with the design. Take this pair from Missoni. The classic woven Missoni zigzag - in a very attractive mix of colours, I might add - is transformed into a pair of chunky, clunky and completely ungainly shoes with the addition of the woven, raffia wedge. If these espadrilles make even a "size zero" mannequin look like she's grown Clydesdale hooves instead of feet, what chance do the rest of us have? They're £350 from Net-A-Porter.