High-top gladiators are a style that, at best, will only suit a handful of people; specifically, those with legs of the long and very slender variety. To add insult to injury (to those those of us who don't possess the aforementioned assets) is that this particular style is likely to make your ankles look like you've strapped half a dead snake to them! The final horror is the price - $779 from Guiseppe Zanotti.
Related: Check out our ugly shoe collection here!
Now, I'm going to start by saying that I don't mind the ol' soft toy and still cherish the special ones I've had since childhood. But these teddy-inspired shoes? Blergh! Taking a relatively nice plain court and adding a bizarre bear face to the heel is something only Irregular Choice would do. If you'd like to figuratively burn £38, they're available from ASOS.
Related: Ugly is as ugly does - as these shoes prove!
This week our Ugly Shoe column is a double feature. We've already assailed your eyes with Givenchy's awful plastic sandals; and now their hideous boots! The chunkiest ankle boots I've seen in a while, the lace detail, elastic insert and peep-toe make this style scream "I'M LOUD! LOOK AT ME!" more vociferously than their neutral white colouring would suggest! Unsuited to jeans... and I'm not sure that they'd suit skirts or dresses either; my hat's off to anyone who can style these in an attractive way! They're an ugly $638.95 from Givenchy.
Related: Check out our Ugly Shoe archives here!
My eyes! They burn! There I was, trotting through life thinking that Crocs were one of the worst blights on shoekind, when along comes Givenchy with these horrors. Lets get one thing straight: the words 'jelly' and 'shoes' should never, NEVER belong in the same sentence, unless it's along the lines of "I wore my pretty shoes today and ate some delicious raspberry jelly on my lunch break". Proving that plastic and gladiator styles do not mix well, these bleached white horrors will no doubt turn up on the feet of those with more money than sense. If you fancy splurging $168.95 of your hard earned cash, make your way to Zappos now.
Related: Shoes are uglier on Thursdays!
Described as 'chalk suede sling-back shoe boots', I must admit that I find these spring offerings from Pedro Garcia to be a little on the ugly side. Showcasing a shape that will make mincemeat of most ankles, it's the white suede that ensures these will get dirty as soon as you dare to think about a rainy day. Pair with the shapely legs of a supermodel and you might just get away with them - they're a frightening £185 from Net-A-Porter.
Related: Pedro Garcia's 'Dannie' | Pedro Garcia's 'Fredie' peep-toe pumps | Seychelles do d'Orsays a la Pedro Garcia
These shoes have a fatal case of the too-much-going-ons, I'm afraid; and Hale Bob: you have only yourself to blame. While these sandals could have looked quite elegant had they been toned down a notch, the addition of fussy clasps, complicated straps and a heavily detailed wedge make them more overwhelming than anything else! Perhaps a subtle kind of ugly (compared with the likes of these, anyway); at $99.99, they're anything but a bargain.
Related: Save the Ugly Shoes! Collect the whole set!
Don’t these heels look frighteningly high? They measure in at about 3.75” plus a 0.75” platform. That makes then 4.5” tall. And they’re not even fabulously beautiful like a pair of Louboutin’s or Manolo’s. They actually scare me quite a bit, reminiscent of the feeling I get when I see clear plastic hooker platforms. Which these Forever 21 Plush Patent Platform heels ($20.80) could act as with their high gloss patent leather look pumps with eyelet detail around the toe. It features two straps to help keep the foot in, but it really doesn’t help make them more appealing. What do you think?
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