Forgive me for presenting you with an ugger like this so early on in the week, when you've probably barely eased yourself out of slippers and into your flatties just yet. But the alternative wouls be letting a design error like this one pass by without comment, and we couldn't possibly allow that!
Having twigged that the desert boot is a good style to play with at the moment, Marc Jacobs has 'tweaked' the look by adding a heel that owes more to a piano stool than anything you'd normally wear on your feet. The heel in itself is rather interesting - but it doesn't sit right on the chunky platform, which would look equally fab with a similarly chunky heel. Or have I got it all wrong, and am missing the genius of these strangely discordant shoes?
£515 at Colette.
Related: Clarks celebrates 60 years of the desert boot | Gap designer edition heeled desert boots
As Shoeperwoman observes, there's been a disturbing spate of 'footwear with faces' recently but in the case of these rather upsetting 'toe' shoes by Comme des Garcons, the designer has at least got a basic grasp of anatomy.
My problem with these shoes and indeed any that emphasise the toes is that toes really aren't a part of the body I particularly want to celebrate. Vivienne Westwood just about gets away with it in her kooky animal-toe bondage boots, but the toes here don't look particularly healthy, and get in the way of what would otherwise be a highly wearable style. Well, chacun sa route...
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What's going on here? The sales blurb describes these shoes as 'very unusual' which to me smacks of someone desperately trying to come up with a description that doesn't include the words 'clodhopping' or 'dreary'. Juxtaposing materials can make for great footwear, but I'm not a fan of leather and suede in close proximity like this. If it was a stretchy fabric (as I'd initially thought) then I can see how you could create a shapely and practical shoe, but the combination here isn't doing it for me.
However, if you are someone who's 'acquired' the taste for styles like these, you can bag yourself a pair at Farfetch for £235.
See the full ugly shoe sin bin here!
Sometimes when I come across classic shoes with bizarre detailing I always presume they were leftover shoes that have been updated in order to try and re-sell them. Take these shoes for example. I can just imagine some designer at Faith going 'ooh I know what lets stick some roses on them, I got loads of pink satin scraps!'.
I cannot believe for one second a designer actually designed these sickly sweet peeptoes from scratch! The simple style is quite classic and the colour is actually not hugely offensive if you like jewelled colours BUT those satin roses down the side!! There are no words. No words at all. They're just giving me horrible bridesmaid flashbacks. *Shivers* Ah, that may be it. Maybe they're catering for wedding season and all the bridezillas out there on the hunt for uh-gly shoes to help publicly humiliate their maids.
If you are one of them then they are £70 at Faith.
Ooh and did we mention there is a matching purse?
I love how Faith have a 'Remember Me' button, to store your fave shoes online but in this case most of us need a 'Forget Me. Now' option.
Related: Ugly Shoes | Shoewawa-Friendly Bridesmaid Options | Coming up roses: floral footwear for summer
When I'm looking for shoes, I always look for the ones that make me look like an unemployed clown who's living on the streets, even though they cost £160.
Not.
Why would you spend so much money on something that looked so trampy? And what's up with the bulbous raised toes? H by Hudson, what were you thinking?
Oh, the questions. This is why they are my Ugly Shoe Of The Week. Not because they are the ugliest shoes I've ever seen (unfortunately they aren't...sigh) but just because they are so ridiculously overpriced and pointless. But if you want them, get them from ASOS. I won't judge you.
Ok I'm lying.
Related: Ugly Shoe Of The Week: Leather Zebra Print Effect Cuff Heeled Sandals | Ugly Shoe of the Week: Beverly Feldman 'Greentini' loafers
Yuck.
I wouldn't wish these shoes on my worst enemy.
These 'cuffed' sandals are from ASOS and are cheap wag central. Firstly, why would you 'cuff' a sandal? The whole point of sandals is that they're for summer, ie hot weather. So why would you add what is technically a legwarmer, why?
Secondly, they are hot pink Zebra print. I don't think I need to explain whats wrong with that.
Thirdly, they are hairy. Hairy shoes.
Unfortunately, they're for sale on ASOS for £60. Yes I know.
Related: Ugly Shoe of the Week: Rick Owens Hidden Sandals | Ugly Shoe of the Week: Beverly Feldman 'Greentini' loafers
It's been a wee while since we've written about any ugly shoes (for me especially), but that's mainly because I find it very hard to conjure up feelings of dislike for many shoes - and then find it even harder to bag on them in the public domain! However, some shoes are just asking for it, and as horrible as it feels to say it, these Beverly Feldman 'Greentini' loafers ($184.95) are kind of a case in point.
Even the website selling them has called them a "hodgepodge of rich textures", but we'd just say they've got a whole lot going on! From the "reptile upper" (again, their words, not mine) to the animal-print on the front to the gold metallic bow, these are a hodgepodge alright - but not in the good way Endless Shoes would like to think...
Read more: Ugly shoes
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